So People DO Change ...

Wow. A year certainly does bring changes. Long story short, I had a really bad experience with a fellow opera company member ... basically a result of REALLY poor communication and inter-company gossip. It was not pretty ... but towards the end of the season (April/May -- before I was injured), we kind of agreed to make peace because we had a lot of mutual friends, unnecessary to make them "choose," etc. ... but the friendship never went back to what it was PRE crap.

I was really happy that she acknowledged that I had helped her feel good yesterday on a facebook status. She was just having a really hard time, and I guess I must have said something that helped? I don't know ... but this sort of thing always makes me happy ... when people (myself included) are given the opportunity to change their perceptions of another person ... you have to be really open to it, but when it happens, it's just a really good feeling.

On a related note, I've also reunited with an old friend from Barnard ... she is about to graduate (in less than a week!) and we haven't been in touch in over a year and a half ... AGAIN, t

he result of miscommunication (this time through a third party who was truly trying to be manipulative -- as opposed to third, fourth and fifth parties who like to gossip). I hedged my bets that my friend had matured PAST this other (formerly) mutual friend ... and she HAS. She's become her OWN PERSON and doesn't let this other girl weigh her down. In other words, she has TRULY graduated ... in a way that not many of us can. I am happy to have her back in my life.

This has been an ongoing theme for me post-accident: forgiveness ... taking responsibility for what was MY fault and allowing people to apologize if there was something they did. I've had to look back at who my friends truly have been ... who I miss and would like to reconcile with. And it's been really worth it. Holding grudges when there is still SO much pain over my accident is literally toxic.

Not to say that I'm little miss goody two shoes ... I'm not. And there ARE some things that fall under the other person's responsibility to fix ... but if they came to me and apologized, I would forgive them. Not because anyone tells me to ... but because that's the kind of person I find myself happier being.

Though I'm a work in progress. And FAR from perfect!!! And I'm not trying to assume a "higher than thou" attitude ... I hope none of this came across that way because this would be a MISCOMMUNICATION! lol. I'm just trying to .... heal? Let go? I don't know exactly -- but I know it feels good.