Sorry for being so inconsistent with my posts. When I started this blog about 10 months ago, my goal was to keep my extended family and friends in the loop. It evolved into a desire to share my experience with other people who have had career ending (or potentially career ending) injuries, a piece that I am still working on. You can help make me more searchable by SUBSCRIBING TO MY BLOG! I think it's pretty self-explanatory.
So now. 5/5/10 ... approaching a very painful 1 year anniversary of when all this craziness started, and I find my mind absorbed more and more by the process of recovery; even though elements of the injury linger, I am learning slowly how to navigate around them. So I am going to change the focus of this blog into something that is more recovery based in nature ... the various steps I am taking mentally and physically to move past this disaster.
Before I get into all that, though ... it was unfortunately brought to my attention that several members of the Amato opera where I was working when I had this accident either did not believe me or did not believe the condition to be so serious. I can understand to a degree, in that I was not gushing blood. But this is a small enough group of people that word gets around. I don't need to "back myself up" against such idiocy, mostly because I don't want to relive the very VERY real elements of this disaster .... but I do feel the need to say this:
If you cannot understand the intense pain that comes from the threat of not being able to do what you LOVE again ... then I really feel sorry for you. If you do not love SOMETHING in your world enough to say, "I cannot live without this..." ... well, your world is more fake than you think mine to be.
This does not apply to EVERYONE, of course, but I have a better idea than one might think. Special hugs to those who STILL support me and my physically "bad" days ... and to those who have dared to care about another human being, even when many people were against her.
To the people who couldn't even wish me luck the night before my surgery? For shame.
Does this sound bitter? Of COURSE. Sadly, that's part of this "process" and it is very unpleasant. I am trying to get over it as soon as I can ... but some things just hit a sore spot.
Luckily, I have managed not to let bitterness impede too much on my day-to-day life. I have gained a whole note POST-surgery, now allowing for an easy high C and high D. Vocally, I am coming back stronger. I am turning to new forms of expression other than music (ie: art) to express my emotions ... I am turning to the Old Testament for comfort, some of which I will share on here. But this has been a harder journey than I ever thought possible. I hope some of you will allow me to share what remains with you.
honey, I hope this will help in your healing, and perhaps you may find some surprises. Sometimes people really don't understand.
ReplyDeleteStay strong! You are amazing, and so inspiring! I'm so sorry you have to deal with people like that, that's horrible. I can't believe adults would behave like that, it's so immature and cruel. <3
ReplyDelete